A beautiful bride stood before me, a vision of white silk and flowers. Her face was flushed with excitement and nervousness. Her Maid of Honour leaned forward with a reminder for her to hold her bouquet low, at about waist level.

“Are you ready?” I asked.

She grinned. “Yes.”

I turned to walk out of the room but the bride grabbed my arm. “Wait!” With a touch of panic in her voice she asked, “How do I kiss him?”

I teased her. “If you don’t know, maybe you shouldn’t be marrying him.” Giggles all around. The bride laughed. “I mean…..um…..like…..for how long?”

It was a good question. It was an excellent question. And, it is one that couples don’t ask before they go down the aisle and they probably should.

Here are my thoughts on that oh-so-important kiss that everyone waits for, photographers do acrobatics for, guests cheer for, and couples don’t prepare for because it is a no-brainer. They think.

The thing is, the kiss you anticipate, the kiss the officiant invites with the pronouncement of your marriage, the kiss that seals the deal, the kiss your guests applaud, IS a very special kiss indeed. It is like no other kiss before, or after. It stands alone in your love story as the sacred turning point in how you define yourself and your relationship with your beloved. You have walked the path of ceremony, and now you kiss your new status of life into being. When you arrived you were unmarried, and now, through the unfolding process of intent, vows, and ritual, you have crossed the threshold. Your kiss tells you, and the world, that you are now bound to this other human being who has made this transition with you.

How DO you kiss? Well, it’s a fine line. I tell couples to linger a little, to savour the moment, to feel the magic, to give the photographer a bit of time to capture the enchantment. You don’t want to speed through a tiny peck, but you don’t want to kiss so long it feels awkward either.

This kiss is sacred. You must treat it as such. This kiss is delicate, blessed, an expression of heart. It is a symbol of your elation. It is your first married kiss. This is a kiss that is a gift to you and your one and only, witnessed by your nearest and dearest.

I once did a wedding in which the couple had been waiting years to get married. It was a  day of great joy after such a long time. The bride and groom kissed with such gusto the guests started yelling, “We’re still here” and “Get a room” which was delightful and made everyone laugh. The couple’s passion was a true expression of their deep love and joy, but, it might have been better to keep it for the honeymoon suite.

How DO you kiss?

Go with your heart, remember that this kiss is sacred, and practice how long you want it to be. Yes, PRACTICE! What could be more fun?